- Consent is Important: Ask for consent before touching anyone (this includes hugs and handshakes) by asking first and accepting a “no” response. We feel that is important to show other members that you are willing to respect their bodily autonomy. Many people feel unsafe when they are not allowed to decide when and how they are touched. Asking others for permission is easy to do and empowers others to take control of their bodies.
- No Fetishization: Please do not fetishize other attendees. This is incredibly important towards building a space safe for marginalized groups of people who have for so long been treated as objects. Making comments such as “It’s nice to see some BBC here” or “I love boobs with dick” ostracizes people and minimize their humanity, even if you mean it as a compliment.
- Street Clothes Only: We ask that you wear street clothes to our event. If you can’t wear it walking to the venue, please don’t wear it inside. Token items such as a day collar or small amount of leather is OK. We want questioning folks and newbies to feel comfortable and not walk into an environment that feels like the hardcore deep end of leather or kink.
- No scening or play: We ask that you do not engage in any scenes or sexual activity at our public munch. We want to foster an environment where new people can explore at their own pace and not be pushed too fast or too quickly. We also want to be respectful to our venue and other patrons.
- Who can attend: Attendance is not dependent on your gender, orientation, or how “kinky” you are, but on your willingness for respecting others and/or being a good ally. If you think you belong in our group, you do. As such, Hetero folks are welcome as long as they are respectful of the mission and the rules as well as fellow attendees identities and pronouns. We are a private group and reserve the right to refuse attendance to anyone.
- Be Respectful: Redpilling, hatespeach, antivaxx, “all lives matter”, and any words, actions, behaviors, clothing, symbols, or anything else deemed categorical will not be tolerated. We are a private group and as such are not beholden to your interpretation of the first amendment. Nor do we have any obligation to provide you a platform. Black Lives Matter, Stop Asian Hate, and there will be no indication to the contrary.
- Don’t Be Drunk: Drunkenness will result in being asked to leave. You may feel comfortable enough to do so, but others associate drunkenness with a lack of restraint. Please keep your good judgement intact so that others may preserve their sense of security and control.
- Facemasks Always Allowed: Anyone is welcome to wear a COVID style facemask. No mask shaming will be tolerated.
- Leadership Authority & Governance: BiP is a privately run kink group; attendance and participation are a privilege, not a right. Group leadership (the Lead Organizer and Backup Leads) reserves the right to issue warnings, temporary suspensions, or permanent bans at any time to maintain group safety and community standards.
- Suggestions and feedback are always welcome. However, leadership retains final discretion on group policy and scheduling. A “No” from leadership is a final decision; repeatedly pushing, debating, or pressuring leadership to change a “No” into a “Yes” is considered disruptive behavior and a violation of group boundaries.
- Reporting & Early Concerns: We encourage attendees to bring conduct concerns to the Lead Organizer or Backup Leads as early as possible.
- You do not need to wait for a major incident to reach outânotifying leadership of smaller, uncomfortable interactions helps us track patterns, monitor the safety of the space, and address issues proactively before they escalate.
- Venue Respect: Our events take place within a partner venue. As guests in this space, maintaining a respectful, safe, and drama-free environment is mandatory.
- If you are asked to leave the venue by bar management or staff for any reason, this creates an automatic temporary suspension of at least 3 months from all BiP events.
- Grievance Protocol & Public Conduct: All discussions regarding group administration, rules, or interpersonal conduct concerns must be handled privately with leadership (the Lead Organizer or Backup Lead).
- Attendees are welcome to bring one support person to these private discussions if desired.
- The kink community values privacy and any public discussion of private events or grievances generally reflects poorly on those airing them publicly. It is much better to interface with leadership about concerns privately. If a participant is found to be disrespectful of the privacy of others, they will be asked not to attend.